Whew!

Well, I have the highlights of this path I'm on posted now. Not all the dates are exactly right, or even close to right, but I wanted the posts in order.

The starting page is here. And then there are backward and forward arrows through more or less the present. For now I'm not going to link any of my newer posts to those, although I may go back and add some later.

But there you go. At least a little bit of a record of this crazy path I'm one!

Starting Again

Well, I think I'm going to try this blogging thing again. There is a lot going on in my life right now and this seems like a good place to sort out those thoughts and start trying to put them into coherent sentences!

For anyone who happens to be reading this and doesn't know, I've started out on a journey that seems like it will end up with me in the Catholic Church. This sounds pretty crazy as I've been perfectly happy being Protestant, but seems to be where I'm headed. And I'm getting more and more sure about it every day.

I'm going to be posting as I go along, but I also want to add some of the things from before now, so I think I'll back date some of the posts. Whenever I add one that is back dated I'll post one for today too, so it doesn't get lost.

So here it goes!

Update

Just a quick post to say I'm still alive! I've just had a busy couple of weeks getting ready for Easter and working and such. I'll try and post soon when I have more time and I'm more awake!

Prayer Request

A quick prayer request. A little boy from my church died this morning. He was only 2 months old and never got to leave the hospital, but a hard deal all round. And one of the pastors from my church is REALLY close to the family so she has to deal with this as both a friend and as a pastor.

Life Update

While I'm at it, I'll throw in a quick update on my life in general. I've been busy as usual. I'm still working late every night of the week, although there are a couple of potential people that may be hired. I'm not getting my hopes up yet though, we have been this far before and it hasn't worked out.

My new big news is that I now have a second job that I'm THRILLED about! I'm now on staff at my church! It is only 10 hours a week, but I'll be helping our Children's minster with various Sunday School related things. I'm REALLY excited about it and the children's minister is really excited because it will be less stress on her!

Other than that, I've been busy spending my Christmas money. I got my new glasses in and I'm excited about that. I fixed the battery cables on my car and registered and plated it. And there went most of the money. Oh well, I've been waiting to do all that, so it is nice to have it all done.

And I guess that is about it for now. Pretty much just my normal life.

Quick Update

Well I had a nice relaxing weekend. I didn't do anything all day on Saturday which was great. I was able to catch up on my sleep and just relax. Then church today. Sunday school was a little crazy, it was singing Sunday so we had everyone together. I think everyone was high on sugar or something cause they were just CRAZY! But somehow we all made it through alive. This evening we had the blessing of the animals. That was fun, something different and just seeing everyone's pets every where. I also know what I'm doing for Thanksgiving now so that is nice. In someways this is my first holiday season on my own. Last year I had the kids to hang out with and focus on, so being out here by myself wasn't a big deal. This year may be a little different. I LOVE Christmas, so I'm sure it will be good, just a little more difficult.

Prayers Please

Please pray for my boss. We are REALLY short staffed right now and my boss is having problems finding people. He has hired a number of people to only have them not show up. He has been looking for a couple of positions for awhile, but now we have lost the other person who closes. We were supposed to have someone else, but she called the day before she was going to start and quit. So that leaves me closing 4 nights out of the week, and possibly 5 in another week. It will be nice cause I'll have nice big paychecks, but at the same time it is exhausting. And this week I've been sick, but pretty much had to work anyway. And even after we finally get someone, it will be another week or two before they are totally trained and can close by themselves! So prayers that this would happen soon would be great!

To end on an up note, how about a funny story from one of my kids. I was chatting with one of my girls the other day. She and her dad are from Iraq and her dad's girl friend lives with them too. They are all really sweet. Ok, so back to the story. We were talking about what kinds of food we like and such. She told me she is allergic to bacon. I asked her if she was really allergic to bacon or if she just can't eat it. She told me that her dad can't eat it either. I said you can't eat it cause you are Muslim right? She said yes and that her "mom" could eat it. I was like cause she not Muslim right? She said no, she's Wisconsin!

I'm not lost!

Well, I'm back, at least I'm going to try and be back. Just to get you caught up on my life, I'm enjoying my new car. It is finally sinking in that it is mine. Now I just need to get busy and figure out what to do with my old car! I also mentioned the interview in my last post. I think that is going well. There wasn't really an interview to it. I went in filled out all their paperwork, talked to the lady for a few minutes, but that was pretty much just how long did you work and this place type stuff and looking over my application. And then she sent me to do the drug/TB test and get finger printed again. So from what I understand as long as everything checks out ok, I'm in. Although I'm not really sure how it works!

Other than that, I'm just keeping busy with the job I have now. I've been working quite a bit in the past couple of weeks. The grade school kids had Friday off two weeks ago and then last week got out at 11 AM on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday so I work early all of those days! Then this week I went in early on Tuesday for a meeting. So my schedule is ALL messed up and I have no idea when I work!

I'm also busy with church. We opened our new Life Center a few weeks ago. It has a big gym, kitchen, and a number of nice meeting rooms. It already seems to be getting LOTS of use! Then a week or two later we had our big kick-off for Upward sports ministry. We will have basketball teams and cheerleaders for elementary aged kids. It is nice cause they have practice one night a week and one game on Saturday. Nothing that cuts out too much family time. And so I'm now officially "Devotions Commissioner" for that. I'm in charge of finding people to do devotions for the games on Saturday. I'm also still teaching my 4th and 5th grade Sunday school class and helping with the K and 1st grade class.

So that is my life and between just being busy and just not feeling like posting, I haven't written much. So I'm going to try and get back to posting now. Well see how it goes!

Fast Update!

Just a quick post to keep this alive. I have had a crazy and somewhat stressful past couple of weeks. The good news is I have a "new" car! My old car is falling apart even more than it was and it has gotten to the point where fixing it is just silly. So I now I have a '94 Ford Taurus. It is fancy compared to my old car so that is cool. And it has air conditioning and power steering! YEA! I'm still a little stressed about the car payments, but I'm trying to just deal with that later and just be excited for a couple of days!

Also prayers for tomorrow would be appreciated. I have a job interview at a nanny agency. I'm a little worried that it won't work out because they told me they wanted 1 1/2 full time verifiable experience, but my last job doesn't do references, they will just confirm that I worked there. But hopefully it will be good. They said I come with high recommendations. One of the ladies that works there is the mom of one of the kids at the job I'm out now. And she is one of the parents I have talked with some and I know her son really likes me. So hopefully it will all work out!

A few pics from Church Camp!

my pastors little boy, isn't he adorable!










a beautiful view!












Me reading scripture for worship. I'm on the left, my pastor is in the middle, and her husband is on the right.







a couple of the kids. The two on the left are in my sunday school class.






.

I'm off to camp!

Yea! I'm off to church camp this evening! I feel like a little kid, I'm so excited! I have another couple hours til work, then 3 hours at work then I'm off. Yea! This is the prayer for this weekend that I was writing in my journal last night.

"May it be a time of refreshment and renewel. May it be a time of reflexion and rest. May it be encouraging to me and may I be an encouragement to others. May we draw close to each other and most of all to You."

And with that, I'm off!

Please Excuse the Mess

Well, I'm playing with my blog but something isn't working right, but I don' have time to fix it, I'm off to work! :D

If any of you are good with the templates, I have a question. When I hit the preview button everything is great and all lined up, but then when I publish and go back and look at it, it is off to the side. Any ideas?

Blah...

This evening was kind of interesting. I was/am in a kind of blah, quite moods. Nothing wrong or anything, just quite. It was kind of frustrating during Bible study tonight. I know the leader was well intentioned, but he kept asking my questions or to share or whatever, and I just wasn't in the mood. Then even in worship which I LOVE I had trouble focusing on much of anything. I did chase my pastor's daughter around a little bit after dinner and it was nice to laugh at her. I'm just out of it today!

I'm Back

Well, I'm back from my nice little week off blogging... It was a CRAZY week, but SOO much fun! It really showed me how much I miss teaching kids about Jesus. I miss the relationships. I miss loving them. I miss the little conversations. I miss the songs. I'm just not sure what to do. I don't think I can keep going at it like this for very much longer. I love my Sunday School class, but it just isn't the same. It isn't the same environment and it isn't the same kind of consistency. I'm not even sure how to explain it and I have no idea what to do about it. I just know that I can' keep doing this, I need something else.

It is hard, because I'm not sure what to do about finding another job. I know I could get a job at a school pretty easily as an aid or a para, and I think it would be ok, but I'm not sure I would be happy there for another year. I could wait and find something that I would really enjoy, but I'm not even sure what that is, much less when I would find it. I know I need to trust God, and I do, but I just don't know where to follow Him. I just don't know what to do.

On a more positive note, I'm SOO incredibly thankful for my church. My car broke down Monday night and I ended up calling the lady I was teaching VBS this week with to come help me. She drove across down, and sat with me until the tow-truck came and then took me home at mid-night. So nice! I'm incredibly grateful for her and everyone else at church who does an amazing job of being the Body of Christ!

Quick Update

just a quick update, look for more this weekend. My computer cord died at the end of last week so I couldn't get online and then this week is Vacation Bible School at church so I'm spending all morning at church and then going to work. Which leaves NO free time! It is great fun, just exhausting. So I'll write more this weekend after I have slept!

Update

wow, it has been awhile since I have posted, so this may be a long one! It has been a LONG week, although I'm not sure why. I got off REALLY early a couple of nights but stayed pretty late some other nights. And I think some of it comes from having a meeting last weekend so I didn't get to relax as much as usual. I also miss having church Wednesday nights. It is nice to both get off early in the middle of the week and to just talk to people from church But I don't have to work tomorrow so I'm excited!

I have also been thinking about calling this week and what it means to be called. This has kind of come from a variety of sources and experiences. We have been talking about the Joseph narrative in church and how Joseph was called but it took quite awhile and a lot of "detours" for it to all work out. I suppose I need to be patient in letting God work things out in my life.

I'm also on a discussion list and some of the people have been talking about calling. Some of the people have been saying that they don't really believe in calling in the sense of God telling us what to do. It is more God has given us gifts and talents and calling is us living out those things in our lives. We aren't "called" to something specific; just to live a life pleasing to God.

I have also just finished reading a book called "Twenty Something". One of the quotes in it says "The eternal call of Christ on our lives is not to a particular person, place, or position here on earth, but rather to a deepening relationship with Him, Though at times, people, places and different job position will manifest themselves as part of that call, the heart is to be a follower of Jesus Christ."

I'm also thinking about my job. I love my job and I love the kids, but I want more. I want to be able to tell them about Jesus. I can love them and they know that I'm a Christian, but it isn't the same. I want to tell them constantly how much God loves them. I want to tell them about what God has done and is doing for them. I want to tell them how valuable they are in God's eyes and in my eyes. I wonder if everyone who works in the secular world struggles with this or if this means this isn't where I'm supposed to be long term.

So I have all of these thoughts rolling around in my head, but I can't make a whole lot of sense of them and don't know where they are taking me.

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And now for some other random thoughts. People amaze me some times. It is amazing how rude and silly people can be and how sweet they can be! This really struck me the other day with some of the parents of my daycare kids. One of the boy's grandma came and picked him up and he had poop running down his leg. Now let me say that I had been playing with him just a few minutes before this and he was fine and I offered to change him, but the lady was pretty rude about the whole thing. And I guess she called my boss the next day. No big deal for me, but still. So just a little bit after this lady left, one of the girl's mom came in. She is the absolutely sweetest ladies in the whole world. She is always nice to us and ALWAYS says thank you, often more than once. She is just so kind! I'm so thankful for people like her in the world!

I'm also thankful for my church. There are some great people there that I really enjoy spending time with. I love being able to just chat and eat after church in the evenings. That is some of my favorite times during the week. I also love watching the kids run around and play while the adults talk. And again I'm so thankful for the way children are viewed within the church, like they really are part of the church and important for what they are doing right now. This past week the kids were supposed to save change to put in a cup to help give kids in Liberia a well so they could have clean water. It was neat to watch them bring in their cups and to see how much they all gave. It was also encouraging to them hear the children's sermon about how they were showing us how to give. The pastor also talked about how we are changing things within the church for them, so that they can learn more about God. I just LOVE that!

Weekends

Yea for weekends! And a bigger yea for when I actually have money on the weekend! Not that I spend huge amounts of money on the weekend, but it is nice to be able to stop and buy a soda and some food without thinking about it. So I went to Target, Wal-mart, Michael's, Borders, and Sunflower Market today. Craft stores are dangerous! To many fun things to buy and play with. But I restrained myself and only bought what I needed for my Sunday School class tomorrow. Sunflower Market has also become my new favorite store! It is a natural, health food type store and since I'm not really into such things, I never went there. But I was talking with some people at church last week and they said they had really good prices on fruits and veggies. And they do!

Oh, I also talked to a cute little girl at Borders. I was just sitting there reading and she wandered over by me. So I smiled at her and then she started bringing me books and talking to me. She was probably right around two, so just starting to talk a lot. And she seemed very excited that I would talk to her and laugh at her. So cute!

And that was pretty much my day. Pretty uneventful. Now on to church tomorrow.

Update

Yea, the weekend! Actually this week went by really fast so it hasn't been to bad. More kids were crazy yesterday, but oh well. I did have fun with some of my favorite little kids too. It is so fun to walk into the two year old class because they are ALWAYS soo excited to see me. Makes you feel really good. And then when I was leaving last night one of the little girls had to run and hug me before I left, so cute.

And now for a weekend to enjoy. Right now I'm ready to go take a nap and I've been up for a whopping two hours. Then I may go read at Borders for awhile. It is nice to just get out for awhile and relax. Then I need to get ready for my Sunday School class tomorrow. And I guess that will be my day.

And a good quote from "The Silver Chair. " 'You would not have called to me unless I had been calling to you.' said the Lion[Aslan]." In case anyone doesn't know, the idea is that Aslan is a representation of Christ. So my point is that we come to God because God is calling us. I guess that is the whole idea of prevenient grace, that God gives us grace before we think of Him so that we can come to Him. SO AMAZING!

Changes

Hey, I think people are actually reading my blog!

Yea! It is Saturday. I haven't done a whole lot today. I went out and stopped at a couple of car lots to start looking at cars. I need a new car soon. For one, I don't have air-conditioning, and well, this is Arizona! I have no idea what I want really. Something with four doors, but I have no idea what brand. If anyone has suggestions on good or bad cars, let me know. But hopefully I'll know soon about that job at church and can seriously start picking something out!

For another random thought, I've been noticing lately how some of my thinking has been changing. Well, changing may not exactly be the right word. A lot of the things I'm thinking about are things that have somehow been in the back of my head, but not in a fully formed way, much less a way that I can express. But reading some of the stuff that is part of the emergent conversation has clicked with them. It has also made me feel less alone, I know that there are other people out there who are thinking and feeling the same things.

For example, I was reading the thread about how people view the Bible. I have never really thought that it was word for word inspired by God. That just makes no sense to me at all. But in reading "Generous Orthodoxy" there are some things that I like. It talks about how the Bible isn't meant to be read as a modern book full of exact descriptions and lists of rules to be followed. What we have is the story of God working in and through His people. We have a book that is both "God-breathed" and written by men within a culture and community. We need both of those ideas, God and men, to make sense of the Bible. It is a balancing act.

Moved

Yes, so I'm moving this again. The last sight was being stupid and wouldn't let me change colors that it said I could and now I can't find my first posts so I'm mad! So hopefully this will be the last change and will actually do what I want it to do!


Well, here I go on my first blog adventure. And why not since I have had lots of firsts in the past year or so. That is why I choose the name "growing up," I have done a lot of growing up in life in the past year as I have joined the "real world." I also feel like I'm going through a growth spurt in my faith and in my theology and how I think about my faith. But I'm sure you will hear more about all of those as time goes on.